*Two months later*

I’m thankful for, in chronological order:

  • Getting a second medical school acceptance
  • Avi winning a visa lottery
  • Visiting schools in New York — with Avi! ❤
  • Deciding on where I’m going to school

Honestly, even amid these blessings, my day-to-day mood rises and dips. Stress after family FaceTimes, boredom, fatigue from social interaction. But even the lows have been much more manageable than last year. I’ve been loving the joy of celebrating Easter with my church and the novelty of traveling to Virginia, New Orleans, Indiana, and Chicago.

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Down in New Orleans

In the middle of March, I treated myself to a spontaneous New Orleans trip! I’ve been so rusty with travelling that I jumped at the opportunity to see one attraction I had heard about — the highly-rated World War II museum.

For this particular trip, I was aiming for three things:

  • Affordable — especially since I was traveling solo
  • Able to do remote work for most days
  • Quick and casual — just visited for five nights in the middle of the week

My trip began at my airBNB near the Seventh Ward. It was a cozy space full of books, draped with string lights, and home to two cats. In the daytime, sunlight poured into my private room. A nice place to work before exploring the city.

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Monthly Me: Feb ’22

Lunar New Year started on February 1st, which seemed like a neat way to square off the Year of the Ox, my Chinese zodiac. Like any holiday, the date declared a passage into something new, even though in the scheme of the universe, it is just another day.

This month, I’m finding that love and life have a way of being just like that, though.

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See ya, 2021!

This year began with a jab in my arm, as I received my vaccine series (luckily, early from my job). From then on, my life quickly expanded like a blown-up balloon: the city began to thrive again, my house was full of friendly roommates, and I was seeking new boys. Then in the middle of the year, my sphere suddenly contracted again, starting when my lease near the university ended. My social circle has become a lot tighter, and my hopes for medical school have shrunk smaller.

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2021 Spotify Wrapped

It’s been a while since unwrapping our 2021 Spotify summaries, but I prefer to save reflections closer to New Year’s.

According to Spotify, I played “Save Your Tears” 52 times…that’s not even counting the number of times I rewatched his Super Bowl performance. As a funky anthem about crying at a party, I’m proud of this top song, and few of my friends’ Wrapped results were spared from it 😛 All of the other songs of my top 5 are what I call sad EDM songs (except for Lil Nas X), which *glances at record of my mental health* definitely checks out.

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It’s strange to be in the same city as someone you used to love. The crowds swallow us easily and conceal us from each other, but it still feels like we’re two elephants in a tiny room, our shoulders brushing but just missing each other. Would a collision destroy me?

It’s strange to hear rain patter on the AC unit and wonder if you’re caught in the storm. It’s strange that the our sun sets at the same moment, plunging us both into night. (When the protests came through the streets, my heart skipped a beat when your roommate said “We are worried about you.” We?)

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October moodboard

This October felt like volunteering outside in the bright but cool air. My favorite day was a long day in West Philly spent tabling for pandemic relief resources and going to a cookout at my church.

I started the month with stocking up on seasonal foods: butternut squash ravioli, pumpkin bisque, candy corn. I learned how to make my own pumpkin spice cold brew with a few ingredients.

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[Delete memory?]

Ever since what happened between us, I feel I’ve been shoved into an alternate dimension that deleted our relationship. (But, as in any computer, data doesn’t disappear—it’s concealed, warped, corrupted.) I’m…still trying to feel okay about that. In movies1, the protagonists would fight and fight and fight to return back to their beloved normal. I just don’t think I’m that kind of character or in that kind of film.

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