Warm-up Post (Freewrite)

cucumber mellon

I’ve been losing motivation in this blog but at the same time I fiercely do not want to neglect it.  I have an overabundance of things to write about, mostly vignettes about life-happenings, but I’m simply stuck on execution and starting.  Eek, it’s only been a few weeks since my class Creative Writing class ended and I’ve already regressed into a writer-couch-potato!

I got a small spurt of motivation when I realized that it’s almost time for my next weekly “What I’m Up To,” but I realized that I should post some actual content, unless this blog would turn into consecutive “What I’m Up To” post after another.  I really feel like I need to just get the ink flowing right now for this pen to be back in business, so here’s a freewrite post (you’ve been warned!).

I just popped off my “H” key, trying to figure out why I had to strike it so firmly to get the letter.  There was a shard of sunflower seed shell.  

My social media feed is, like 80% about the polar vortex and the gobs of snow (Dammit!  I’m plagiarizing Jerry Spinelli again).  I like winter.  I like the stillness of it.  Dormant snow does nothing but reflect its surroundings.  It turns plum in sunset, marks the path of wind, caves in under footsteps.  I think my affinity for it tells something a little depressing about me.

A hot drink would be nice right now.  That would really set the mood.  I’m going to light a candle.

It’s cucumber melon, and new.  The wick was slightly bent and slow to light at first, but once the flame caught and blackened the thread, it stood at attention.

I should make a post about winter.  Probably overdone, late, and cliché at this point?  Whatever.  (The word “whatever” is my driving force throughout this junior year.  I wonder if you’ll know what I mean).  Maybe a post about fire, too.  Consecutively posted, for contrast.  I could copy/paste from that post about the new years party, expand and elaborate a little.  No one would notice.

Dang, all this post-planning is freezing me up again.  Time to write the next sentence.  But wait!  It’s about winter!  Should I save it for the winter post?? Fuck it!!  This super-long winter is making me wonder, for a moment: what if it lasts forever?  Is this the start of an Ice Age?  I like to think that I’d be one of the few to stick around, but I don’t give myself that much credit.  I would miss flowers too much.  Still, something about it — this candle is definitely tunneling, I need to cut the wick — something about this winter feels like the beginning or forewarning of something life-changing about to happen.  The other day I tagged a foggy morning photo as #smells like the beginning of a novel.  Probably not a very good novel.  Books nowadays start in the thick of the action, not the peace of stillness.

-M.L.

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