I’ve been losing motivation in this blog but at the same time I fiercely do not want to neglect it. I have an overabundance of things to write about, mostly vignettes about life-happenings, but I’m simply stuck on execution and starting. Eek, it’s only been a few weeks since my class Creative Writing class ended and I’ve already regressed into a writer-couch-potato!
I got a small spurt of motivation when I realized that it’s almost time for my next weekly “What I’m Up To,” but I realized that I should post some actual content, unless this blog would turn into consecutive “What I’m Up To” post after another. I really feel like I need to just get the ink flowing right now for this pen to be back in business, so here’s a freewrite post (you’ve been warned!).
I just popped off my “H” key, trying to figure out why I had to strike it so firmly to get the letter. There was a shard of sunflower seed shell.
My social media feed is, like 80% about the polar vortex and the gobs of snow (Dammit! I’m plagiarizing Jerry Spinelli again). I like winter. I like the stillness of it. Dormant snow does nothing but reflect its surroundings. It turns plum in sunset, marks the path of wind, caves in under footsteps. I think my affinity for it tells something a little depressing about me.
A hot drink would be nice right now. That would really set the mood. I’m going to light a candle.
It’s cucumber melon, and new. The wick was slightly bent and slow to light at first, but once the flame caught and blackened the thread, it stood at attention.
I should make a post about winter. Probably overdone, late, and cliché at this point? Whatever. (The word “whatever” is my driving force throughout this junior year. I wonder if you’ll know what I mean). Maybe a post about fire, too. Consecutively posted, for contrast. I could copy/paste from that post about the new years party, expand and elaborate a little. No one would notice.
Dang, all this post-planning is freezing me up again. Time to write the next sentence. But wait! It’s about winter! Should I save it for the winter post?? Fuck it!! This super-long winter is making me wonder, for a moment: what if it lasts forever? Is this the start of an Ice Age? I like to think that I’d be one of the few to stick around, but I don’t give myself that much credit. I would miss flowers too much. Still, something about it — this candle is definitely tunneling, I need to cut the wick — something about this winter feels like the beginning or forewarning of something life-changing about to happen. The other day I tagged a foggy morning photo as #smells like the beginning of a novel. Probably not a very good novel. Books nowadays start in the thick of the action, not the peace of stillness.