I am a junior in high school! How the fuck am I staying sane? 😀
1) The word “whatever.”
The other day my bus companion burned through a rant about annoying classmates, barely stopping to breathe. After a solid ten minutes of listening (what I do), I ask, “Girl, have you ever discovered the value of the word ‘whatever?’ ”
I don’t think you understand. “Whatever” is a gift from the gods. I think the reason that teens use it so much is because it is such a valuable defense mechanism. And before I’m barraged with criticism about shunting responsibility, I have to say that if a high school teen faced each failure and mishap head-on, we would all be out of our minds.
Best used in moderation, “whatever,” is also effective when followed up with an encouraging mantra. For me, that is “Whatever, I’m still cool,” after a mediocre performance on a test. Or: “Whatever, at least I can use liquid eyeliner.” Try to avoid things like, when someone snickers at you: “Whatever, he ain’t shit anyway. Probably a fuckboy. I hope he secretly struggles with self-esteem, fucking soph.” Though these occasional slips are sometimes
fun bound to happen.
Honestly, I am blessed. Blessed. You hear high school horror stories of real-life Mean Girls drama, but if anything, my friends are the exact opposite. We empathize, listen, build each other up. This year, I have also grown closer to my parents and talk to them a lot more, but I can say honestly that my friends have been my life’s most dependable facet for these past three years.
What I like most about this generation is that contact with friends doesn’t end outside of school.
Can be distracting, but more often it is nice to have someone struggling “beside” you, albeit virtually. It’s nice to have someone to say goodnight to.
My favorite parts of the day are 1) Orchestra at school with good friends and good concertos and 2) Getting back home from school and plugging into Spotify, not taking my headphones off for the next 9 hours.
Finally, after 17 years of life, I am finally starting to embrace the life of organization. I’d love to say that I had an epiphany of responsibility, but honestly, I’m drawn to organizing my things because it’s…aesthetically pleasing. It all started in August when I was standing in the Staples pen aisle, looking at a pack of purple Pentels and thinking: Yes. I identify with these. I carried one around in my flowered pencil case religiously, along with some other necessities (Ticonderogas, lip balm), and then conscientious note-taking started happening.Regularly. Now I’m actually using agendas and calendars. The other day, I bought a whole shipment of post-it flags. My study tag on tumblr is more than a dozen pages long. I’m far from a “neat freak”, and my folders and desk are still shit, but regardless…I’m improving! I think these routines are helping, but they could also be a futile attempt to feel a sense of control! Ha ha!
6) Recognizing a breaking point.
In past years, I could juggle the pins. It wasn’t effortless, and my fingers sometimes fumbled and dropped some, but I have prided in the fact that I could pick them up and, ultimately, find the juggling manageable. Junior year is the first time of my life where I just had to lay down a pin or two, some days. Nothing incredibly traumatizing would happen in those days, I would just look at all the problems for Calc and — feel something stretch taut in my mind. I’ve been conscientious of that strain, more than I ever have before. Though I am not proud of letting go of certain responsibilities when I really ought to be doing them, at the same time I think that those controlled doses of relief really saved me from snapping.
Well, on that note, here is my oh-so-organized calendar for May: RIP me, guys. I think it’s safe to predict that updates on this blog will be spotty in the upcoming weeks. But you best believe that after APs are over, I will blogging like a maniac. In the meantime, I will do my best to write a bunch of posts before my life completely transforms into a mound of poo. In fact, my next picture-oriented post is coming in one or two days, because I feel bad about not posting last week. See you then!