Yes — it’s that time of my life.
I sort of kind of wish that we didn’t have to sell ourselves to colleges with the strength of our convictions. If I could reply “lol idk” to some application prompts, I certainly would. Here are some frequent college-questions that I can only reply to with a huge shrug.
“Who are you? Tell us about yourself!”
Is it possible to sue colleges for triggering existential crises? Because, honestly — who the hell am I? I am an ambiguous gray blob. I’m pretty sure half of my personality consists of winged eyeliner. The other ratios are murky, but I know the Pacific Rim film takes up a good chunk of the remainder.
“What do you wish you were better at being or doing?”
How the fuck am I supposed to answer this? This seems like the place where an annoying person would write “I work too hard 🙂 . ” On the other extreme, you could reveal something devastatingly problematic about yourself. I’m stuck, because I have no “too-perfect” flaws (I’m not ambitious/hardworking/selfless/etc. enough) and my real flaws range from petty to concerning. There is no way I can submit what I really want to say:
I wish I would not spill crumbs all over the place when I eat.
I wish I would stop taking long-ass and honestly debilitating naps.
I wish I wasn’t so goddamn insufferable.
I wish I wasn’t so cripplingly socially inept.
I wish I acted like I have a soul more often.
I wish discomfort would stop consuming me in almost all social situations.
and my personal favorite:
I wish I wasn’t so frequently crushed by the terror of mortality.
I guess I’ll have to think of something. They’ll probably appreciate something a bit lighter than that.
Thanks for reading! This may become a series.