The two posts in this series so far are light and humorous, but let’s have some heart-to-heart real talk.
The time is nigh for colleges to release their decisions for early applications. The first major day of “bloodbath,” as my friend calls it, happened this past Thursday, and I just want to say this for the big 15th of December, and for every decision release thereafter:
If you don’t get in, it’s gonna be okay.
You might deal with two demons when bearing the weight of a rejection: what society thinks of you and what you think of you. Since judgmental people don’t matter, let’s start with you first.
First of all, it’s perfectly acceptable to feel. Some try to hide their crushed feelings, but take your time to be sad! Listen to Coldplay for a few hours, detach from social media, empty a dozen tissue boxes. Your sadness is a right; your sadness is justified. You know, when someone really likes their top choice school, I call it “crushing on a college.” It’s almost the same as liking an actual person. The quickening of the heart, the occupation of thoughts, the mental (over-)glamorization, the anxiety of “will they like me back!?”…so of course a rejection feels like your crush flicking you off. Accept your sadness and own it.
The next thing: the admissions process is mysterious, heartless, and impersonal. Competition is fiercer than ever and spots are limited. Qualified people are going to get arbitrarily cut. Ergo, a rejection is not a comment on your worth. I’m not saying that as fluff. I’m saying it because it’s true.
Finally, just think about the huge variety of colleges still out there, wanting you — colleges that are good fits, that will lead you to the same places, that you’ll learn to love. As I type this, I realize that this is just the same thing as saying “there are many fish in the sea” for educational institutions, so here’s a hand-on-Bible real thing that happened: last year, my friend Renee had her college plans fall through, and she ended up attending her safety school. But — not only did she get a bomb merit scholarship, a great spot at the top of her class, she also got a CLOSE LOCATION TO A TOTALLY CUTE AND BOMB GUY THAT SHE RANDOMLY MET ON A CRUISE. Rejections are blessings in disguise.
In terms of dealing with how society judges your rejection, this is something that I still struggle with, so I’ll keep my hypocrisy brief. If you can, try your best not to broadcast where you’re applying to or to publicly express huge confidence in your acceptance. That way, less people will ask about the result of your decision, which may rub salt into a wound. If it’s unavoidable, then, I don’t know…put on some sunglasses and block out the haters? Like I said, I suck at doing this, so I don’t really have any tips to back up this statement. But legend, dubiously, claims that this is a thing that can actually happen.
And to the many of you who are going to get acceptances–good job, son!!! Go ahead and
Since I am most likely not getting into my early action school next Tuesday, I’m going to be busy completing my apps. I’m trying to plan out easy ready-made posts for the next few weeks so I can maintain my posting streak, but unfortunately, no promises. If I resort to posting my shitty journal poetry, please keep me in your prayers 😀
(Also, thank you to all the follows and likes for my last post!)