The beginnings of my Decembers are always good to me, thanks to my birthday and budding holiday spirit. In recent years, though, I usually experience a mid-December slump. This year it came in a flood of schoolwork, but the low sense of self-worth didn’t hit me until after Finals. Still, the holidays have sufficiently cheered me up, and I’m just hungry and hopeful for a fresh start.
Selections from my Camera Roll
I was very touched by the thoughtfulness of my new friends. I was treated to a midnight cake-and-champagne celebration, two dinners with friends, a sweet poster from my roommate, a Kate Spade mug, a #relatable angry emoji pillow, and CAKE. ON. CAKE.
On Saturday I was in my friend Cathy’s room to retrieve my last package of cupcakes. As I was about to depart, she said, “It’s so nice seeing you overcome your insecurities and realize that people really do love you,” she said. I couldn’t reply except stare at her with wide, glistening eyes.
December’s party life was probably the best so far. Not only did frats provide delicious seasonal mixed drinks, but I was pretty responsible about drinking, too (I had one unpleasant accident last month). I successfully struck that post-buzzed but pre-dizziness euphoric state all three times I went out. It really is all about drinking slowly and pacing yourself.
I kind of mixed it up, kept it flexible. On my birthday I went to a Korean bar with my floor and had a much better experience than the first time. I also had fun nights with a new mix of friends I’m trying out.
After those two lit weekends, it was time to buckle the fuck down. I remember many long hours in Fisher Fine Arts library and Starbucks, much caffeine consumed.
I worked hard, for sure. But for some reasons I wasn’t freaked out, and I took care of myself often. Like, I didn’t lose much sleep, I spent a night exploring study spots in the city, and I treated myself to a delicious Starbucks-and-bagel meal the day before my math final. And I certainly didn’t bomb any exams, but I still can’t determine if I am too chill about my academics and too easy on myself. I mean, if I toiled more, I should’ve gotten better results, right? Because I didn’t do great.
And that’s kind of where I am right now : disappointed in myself and apprehensive for the challenges ahead. I am eager to redeem myself, though.
This month my TIDAL trial expired, and I happily jumped on board with Spotify Student Premium. Oh, Spotify, how I’ve missed you.
During an angsty moment, I randomly remembered that the Strokes exist and that “Someday” is one of the best songs of all time.
You see alone we stand, together we fall apart…
This is also a great song and remix :
If you and I are the ghosts, how I want to take you home…
Snippets of Internal Monologue
- “That whole make-out session was nice, in italics.”
- Why do people who want to talk to each other don’t talk to each other?
- I want to be his first choice. I say that not in a narcissistic way — but because everyone deserves to be somebody’s first choice.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine is priceless, as usual. Killer cold opens recently.
Too-Relevant Tumblr Posts
Tell me all about your Decembers, and I’ll see you next year! ❤