Emotional Containers

This past semester, I felt locked in a post-you era.  Even though, after you said those fateful words — “I’m not looking for a relationship” — I stopped liking you and even stopped hurting for you, I failed to restart, like some stuttering obsolete computer.   I felt like I couldn’t, not without some sort of signal to transition.  I wanted to flip over the page to the next chapter of my life, but it felt like the same chapter kept going on and on — even though different stuff started happening, even though you stopped being a character.  I guess I wanted to look up at the night sky and see the stars aligned in the words: THE END.  I wanted a sign.

But now, the semester is over.  There is no boundary as definitive as the beginning of sweet summer.  I brush the dust of you and my leftover feelings into the container called Freshman Year and seal it off for good.

I’ve been thinking of emotional containers recently: how we compartmentalize our phases of life, how we decide to move on and start new.  I like using the pre-existing, nature-found boxes for my cycles of emotions: the container of childhood, of high school, of years.  But I know that I can and should make my own containers.  Turn over a new leaf on my terms, not on the seasons’.

It’s like how a while ago I realized that one crappy incident shouldn’t “ruin my day.”  If I spill my coffee all over my new skirt, I can, just, compartmentalize the spill into that part of the day.  And proceed to have an alright one.

Perhaps I can learn from my friend who has a quick rebound period — perhaps, perhaps — I can stop being the person who loves other people for too long.


(Post-script): Summer!  This ultimate emotional container is available for a short amount of time, as a special seasonal offer!  This 100% organic and paraben-free container has the perfect dimensions — holding a volume of approximately 3 months — and provides the best lighting and temperature all year.  People like it so much that they called it the Summer Fling.  Hey, I want one of these, too.




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