June, a landmark month in many ways: it was my first time I was responsible for my own rent, food, and employment. Adulting is hard! I spent most of the month merely adjusting to the new independence. I’ve enjoyed myself immensely, but I’ve also already learned a lot within these few weeks.
After my long vacation in Europe and a week back at home, I returned to Philly, where I go to school, to work at the lab of my old Bio professor. I am subleasing a house with eight other people, most of them from my freshman dorm building. I cherish my decision to live there. Not only is the AC functional and the rent pretty cheap, but I’m constantly surrounded by people I know. I have many long talks with my roommate. I’m growing closer with my other housemates. Lots of other friends live nearby. So I’m never bored.
Work is hard. Particularly, research is hard. Especially since I am the clumsiest person on Earth and I fuck shit up for no reason?? I’m finally getting some things right, and I can finally relish the research (which is pretty darn interesting) without constantly stressing about messing something up. My lab work has a nice variety of tasks (not just tedious PCR everyday), so I rather enjoy myself when I’m not breaking anything.
And then…I met this smiley, tall, kinda fratty guy through a mutual friend. When we started hooking up, he was v straightforward, respectful of boundaries, overall just fun. I thought that I’d found my perfect summer fling. But — surprise! I started catching feelings and remembering all the reasons I hate hookup culture! So I stopped that. It couldn’t have started and ended any easier, which is nice — but I don’t think I’m looking for easy anymore.
Music (from May, too, since I didn’t summarize that month)
She wants a n**** that pulls her hair and holds the door for her
CHANCE THE RAPPER MAKES ME SO HAPPY.
My last girl would tear me apart but she never wanna split a thing with me
You know you’re too sad and self-pitying when you start to relate to Drake’s songs. But it got me through a blue spell at the end of the semester.
I bought the original recording of the Phantom of the Opera broadway for $1 at the Baltimore Avenue Dollar Stroll, and I’ve been relapsing my middle-school PotO obsession ever since. The music is just so sweeping and melodious.
Also I’m really glad Taylor Swift is back on Spotify because now I listen to “Blank Space” everyday.
Snippets of Internal Monologue
- I’d be such a good slut if I didn’t have emotions.
- I don’t really believe in complimenting boys. I feel like they have enough self-esteem already.
- My tinder bio would say: a hoe with feelings.
Important tumblr posts
Crucial question: which one are you? I’m the upper right.
Very slowly getting through Pride and Prejudice for the first time.
I thought my first month of freedom would be all about bingeing TV all the time — truth is, I’m usually too tired after work to even sign up for my new trial of Netflix. So I mostly played catch-up with my favorites: the last few episodes of Brooklyn 99 were fucking golden, finale of Elementary made me cry as usual, and I took so many screenshots of John Oliver like this:
In July, now that I’m more adjusted to living on my own, I want to spend less time feeling tired and overwhelmed and check more things off my bucketlist — make the most out of this young-almost-old summer. I want to turn inwards: verbalize some thoughts I’ve been dying to write down, share more of them with you. You can hold me responsible to posting a couple times a week.