Relatable Lana del Rey

Lana del Rey’s new album has been in my life for over two weeks now.  And even though the song is old news by now, Lust for Life expands the concept of “summertime sadness” into explosion — into narrative.  And, for a moody teen living on her own for the first summer ever, the lyrics from this album reflect my emotions this season — and save me a little.

Summer’s meant for loving and leaving,

but I was such a fool for believing that you

could change all the ways you’ve been living — but you just couldn’t stop.

Ephemeral romance during the hot season is so well-known that it has a name: the summer fling.  And it feels so sweet in the moment.  But the trouble comes when you start wishing the sweetness will never end, will accompany you through the cold.

I’ve been acting like Armageddon ’cause you held me in your arms just a little too tight

In the fervor of a fling, how well can you untangle emotional intimacy from physical?  It can work for some people, but not everyone can subsist on pure sensual passion.  If your reality doesn’t match your hopes, you’ll have to ask whether you’re secretly craving something deeper, something more.

I’d be lying if I kept hiding the fact that I can’t deal

and that I’ve been dying for something real.

For me, my summer passions have only revealed that I need emotional intimacy in a partner — otherwise, I’ll invent it even when it’s not there.  And that’s dangerous.  But I’m not sure whether I can give up the convenience of easy intimacy for the difficult pursuit of real love.  I’m afraid that I’m self-sabotaging myself by being too insatiable.

Sometimes it feels like I’ve got a war in my mind; I want to get off but I keep riding the ride.

But the end of Lust for Life promises a personal revival.  It foreshadows for “change” but not, like, a sudden switch.  It hopes for growth that builds upon self-security and a sense of peace.

Change is a powerful thing, I feel it coming in me.

Maybe by the time summer’s done, I’ll be able to be honest, capable

of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don’t feel

beautiful or stable.

Maybe it’s enough to just be where we are.

I keep the lyrics as a reminder for myself.  As a pledge.

This is my commitment, my modern manifesto

…I wanna move, out of the black, into the blue

-M.L.

 

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