June, a landmark month in many ways: it was my first time I was responsible for my own rent, food, and employment. Adulting is hard! I spent most of the month merely adjusting to the new independence. I’ve enjoyed myself immensely, but I’ve also already learned a lot within these few weeks.
March! I’m glad you’re finished.
Oh, February, you will go down in history.
Musings on February Continue reading
Some ironic and silly, others heart-crushingly emotional.
❤ Ever since we met // I only shoot up with your perfume // it’s the only thing // that makes me I feel as good as you do. — Panic! at the Disco
❤ I don’t care what’s in your hair, I just wanna know what’s on your mind. I used to say I wanna die before I’m old but because of you I might think twice. — Twenty One Pilots
❤ Somebody told the stars you’re not coming out tonight // so they found a place to hide — Arctic Monkeys Continue reading
Safe to say I’ve had an emotionally distraught start to the semester, for a variety of reasons. But I healed myself, surrounded myself with the right people, and at the end of this dark January, I feel more like the bouyant, happy girl I was last semester — just a little more grown up now.
- Simply getting past the bouncers (easy for me, since I party in groups of girls) gives a small thrill, a sense of accomplishment. Then you walk through the door and the cool evening air is suddenly multicolored, steamy, and music-throbbed. This promise of a fun night is the best welcome.
- Whenever “Mr. Brightside” comes on.
- If there’s a tasty drink, you request it and enjoy how it warms your belly.
- Whenever “Stacy’s Mom” comes on.
- You’re having a GNO, and your girlfriend is hitting a note/striking a pose particularly well. You ayyyyy in her direction and cheer each other on. (You also strategically block any creepy guys trying to break into your tight circle — and gossip and laugh about it afterwards).
- Whenever anything by Ke$ha or Fifth Harmony comes on.
- You’re looking around, surveying the possibilities. You’re not repulsed by the guys, but no one strikes you either. Then there’s that wonderful moment when you randomly meet eyes with a boy, and you know.
- Perks of loud parties : A guy tries to talk to you and you’re like, “What?” Then he repeats, leaning his face really close to your face — you’re both tipsy and sweaty and happy…
- There’s that cusp between flirty friendliness and physical connection that is sacred, holy. It’s often a wordless moment, yet much is unsaid and understood; solemnly, you abandon the empty small talk and gravitate toward each other. Hips align and lips meet.
- French kissing and lip biting. Oh my goodness.
- Whenever any beloved song comes on : people scream within the first few notes and start jumping up and down excitedly. Soon you’re all belting every word and singing as one entity. It’s off-key, primal, basic — it’s beautiful.
The beginnings of my Decembers are always good to me, thanks to my birthday and budding holiday spirit. In recent years, though, I usually experience a mid-December slump. This year it came in a flood of schoolwork, but the low sense of self-worth didn’t hit me until after Finals. Still, the holidays have sufficiently cheered me up, and I’m just hungry and hopeful for a fresh start.
Selections from my Camera Roll
My Birthday Continue reading
NOVEMBER : though October was the hardest for me academically, November was the most emotionally-challenging month yet. I had a hard time dealing with the uncertainty of current events and my future (lol what is a major/career?) But I spent time with good people and beautiful places, gradually restoring my life force.
Life Updates Continue reading
During lunch with my friends and RA one day, I was telling stories of a party I went to that weekend. My RA said, “I’m surprised that you’re into that kind of fun.”
I asked jokingly, “Is it because I’m nerdy and soft-spoken?”
“Yes,” he said, a bit too seriously. Continue reading