March! I’m glad you’re finished.
Oh, February, you will go down in history.
Musings on February Continue reading
Some ironic and silly, others heart-crushingly emotional.
❤ Ever since we met // I only shoot up with your perfume // it’s the only thing // that makes me I feel as good as you do. — Panic! at the Disco
❤ I don’t care what’s in your hair, I just wanna know what’s on your mind. I used to say I wanna die before I’m old but because of you I might think twice. — Twenty One Pilots
❤ Somebody told the stars you’re not coming out tonight // so they found a place to hide — Arctic Monkeys Continue reading
Safe to say I’ve had an emotionally distraught start to the semester, for a variety of reasons. But I healed myself, surrounded myself with the right people, and at the end of this dark January, I feel more like the bouyant, happy girl I was last semester — just a little more grown up now.
- Simply getting past the bouncers (easy for me, since I party in groups of girls) gives a small thrill, a sense of accomplishment. Then you walk through the door and the cool evening air is suddenly multicolored, steamy, and music-throbbed. This promise of a fun night is the best welcome.
- Whenever “Mr. Brightside” comes on.
- If there’s a tasty drink, you request it and enjoy how it warms your belly.
- Whenever “Stacy’s Mom” comes on.
- You’re having a GNO, and your girlfriend is hitting a note/striking a pose particularly well. You ayyyyy in her direction and cheer each other on. (You also strategically block any creepy guys trying to break into your tight circle — and gossip and laugh about it afterwards).
- Whenever anything by Ke$ha or Fifth Harmony comes on.
- You’re looking around, surveying the possibilities. You’re not repulsed by the guys, but no one strikes you either. Then there’s that wonderful moment when you randomly meet eyes with a boy, and you know.
- Perks of loud parties : A guy tries to talk to you and you’re like, “What?” Then he repeats, leaning his face really close to your face — you’re both tipsy and sweaty and happy…
- There’s that cusp between flirty friendliness and physical connection that is sacred, holy. It’s often a wordless moment, yet much is unsaid and understood; solemnly, you abandon the empty small talk and gravitate toward each other. Hips align and lips meet.
- French kissing and lip biting. Oh my goodness.
- Whenever any beloved song comes on : people scream within the first few notes and start jumping up and down excitedly. Soon you’re all belting every word and singing as one entity. It’s off-key, primal, basic — it’s beautiful.
The beginnings of my Decembers are always good to me, thanks to my birthday and budding holiday spirit. In recent years, though, I usually experience a mid-December slump. This year it came in a flood of schoolwork, but the low sense of self-worth didn’t hit me until after Finals. Still, the holidays have sufficiently cheered me up, and I’m just hungry and hopeful for a fresh start.
Selections from my Camera Roll
My Birthday Continue reading
NOVEMBER : though October was the hardest for me academically, November was the most emotionally-challenging month yet. I had a hard time dealing with the uncertainty of current events and my future (lol what is a major/career?) But I spent time with good people and beautiful places, gradually restoring my life force.
Life Updates Continue reading
During lunch with my friends and RA one day, I was telling stories of a party I went to that weekend. My RA said, “I’m surprised that you’re into that kind of fun.”
I asked jokingly, “Is it because I’m nerdy and soft-spoken?”
“Yes,” he said, a bit too seriously. Continue reading
Happy Halloween, and here’s my monthly round-up!
October was mostly positive. After a mind-blowingly amazing Fall Break, I had the shittiest week of academics ever, but the storm has since blown over. I often don’t do as well as I should, but I’m still being kind to myself. I treat myself to tasty drinks. I sleep and shower even if I “don’t have time.” I once spent a few hours just making apple cider donuts. It felt so therapeutic.
The biggest distinction from last month is that I’m forming routines and close groups. Though I still don’t have enough friends from outside my dorm, I’ve gotten really tight with certain groups, like my Bio Buddies and B99 Watching Party (both Facebook groupchat names), thanks to weekly rituals.